I dunno about you but for me there’s this unexplainable, sweet and exciting feeling when you fall in love with someone new. For the emotionally matured, it doesn’t happen suddenly, not the “love at first sight” kind. I’m talking about the kind that happens after being with someone who you are attracted to for awhile, learning what makes them tick, their quirks and idiosyncrasies and finding yourself falling in love with it all.
With time you know how their minds work, you can guess what they are going to say next in a conversation and you end up completing their sentences most times, you know their favorite food, favorite TV show , favorite clothes, favorite hang out spot etc.
You start your day by either calling them or pinging them, your happiness that day hangs on your encounter with them. Your mood is euphoric when your conversations go smoothly throughout the day or your mood turns sour when there’s an irreconcilable difference between you two or for just the simple reason that you don’t hear from them or see them that day.
But even with all this good feelings comes some loss of independence. You can’t just up and travel when you like or hang out freely with all your friends. You’ve got to keep the other partner informed of your whereabouts, you’ve got to inform them of who you’re hanging out with etc. Failure to do all this is always the beginning of constant quarrels, distrust and break-ups most times. And before we can have a breather , someone new comes along and we are quick to start the process all over again thereby becoming serial “Daters”.
We have falling in love with the love process that most of us have lost our identity, our values and ourselves totally. We’ve become so dependent on the love of another that without their love we become in secured. We sell ourselves short just for a morsel of attention. We forget who we are, what we stand for just because we are scared of being alone. We rush into relationships and most times marriages because all our agemates are married and we’ve reached the ” marriage age” not caring who we are jumping into bed with as long as we don’t end up alone.
Have you ever asked yourself why you’re scared of being alone, like really go on a soul search to find out where that fear ia coming from? If you’re scared of being by yourself how are you going to make it work with another person coming into your life. My thoughts are those who are scared of being alone are scared because they are empty, they have got nothing to even offer themselves and they are looking for someone to fill that emptiness and keep them occupied.
Don’t get me wrong, its good to be in a relationship and eventually get married, it will happen for all those who want to get married.
~But have you tried falling in love with yourself?
~Have you tried really getting to know yourself?
~Have you discovered what makes you tick, your passion, your values, your quirks and idiosyncrasies?
~Do you know what you’re capable of doing or not doing?
If you’re single or you just experienced a break up, this ain’t the time to look for a rebound relationship to fall back on or the time to rush into a “situationship”. Give yourself a break for 1-3 months and
~go on a soul search.
~Discover who you really are, your passion, your likes, dislikes, dreams, goals etc
~Wake up every morning appreciating yourself
~Be happy and content with who you are while striving to be better.
~Dress up for yourself, look good for you, buy yourself gifts and take yourself out to have fun, treat yourself right, pamper yourself
And gradually with each passing day you will discover yourself falling In love with YOU. You will find yourself complete and not empty. You will find yourself being happy and feeling loved without depending on someone else. Then you Know you’re ready to fall in love with someone who’s lucky enough to fall in love with you.