Back in school, We were at a ward round during our first clinical introductory posting with one of our professors when he started asking us series of clinical questions. Still wet behind the ears being our first clinical exposure we didn’t know jack and so most of us came up blank. The professor was so disappointed. He placed his left hand over each of our heads and percussed with his right finger, shooK his head and said, “stony dull, you guys are DULL!!! (I’m sure some of my colleagues can remember who the prof is).
Being a sensitive person, my whole day was marred with this declaration, I felt dull and useless throughout that day and couldn’t wait to go home. On getting home I started thinking to myself, ” chichi are you really dull?” I looked back at the three preceding years in medical school and reminded myself that I had never failed any course our even resited up till this moment. I even went as far as thinking back to my secondary, primary and even kindergarten days as far back as I could remember to see if I had repeated any class, but couldn’t remember any experience of that sort.
So after this journey down memory lane I felt better and assured that I wasn’t dull as stated by that professor. But alternatively, If I had previously had any experience where I had failed some exams before that incident I sure would have agreed with that professor that I was indeed dull and would have felt insecured taking any exam in the future
My point is, most of us feel invalidated by peoples criticisms, judgmental remarks, belittling actions that we start to feel less of who we are. Someone makes a scathing remark out of anger and we ruminate it over and over in our minds, think back to some isolated experiences in the past and then project it into our future and feel invalidated.
E.g we have a quarrel with a younger one and next thing she says is “that’s why you are single, this is why no one wants to marry you”. Instead of thinking of this rationally before responding, you react emotionally and begin to reason all your broken relationships and start feeling depressed and conclude that you may not end not getting married.
I’m here to tell you that its just a bad experience and not a bad life. People will say what they wanna say and do what they wanna do, but you’re in charge of what you feel and how you think. What they say or do to you has got no relationship with who you are or your future. And most times people don’t even mean what they say or do, it could just be out of anger, jealousy or even insecurity.
So the next time someone says something offensive to you, or the next time you’re rejected by someone, or someone trys to shut you up or make you feel like you dont matter or tries to intimidate you or makes an unfair generalization about you remember this…
~You are in control of how you feel
~You have a right to your opinion
~What matter most is what you think about yourself
~You’ve got just one life to live, dont live it trying to be someone else or trying to be a people pleaser
~God doesn’t make thrash, he created you for a purpose therefore you matter
~That someone rejects you from being part of their life doesn’t mean you dont matter, you do matter but they are too blind to see it and its not your job to give sight to the blind.
~That you’ve experienced something negative doesn’t translate to a bad life or future, its just one isolated experience, learn from it and move on
Remember, its your life and your choice… Dont feel invalidated by nothing and nobody
#nuffsaid #Drcicisthots #mytwocents #Drcicislearnerseries
Nwaogwugwu joy Chinyere